I was in Year 10 PE, playing rounders, my absolute worst. Hate that game. The teacher was the pitcher. I was at-bat. The teacher said to the catcher, “As soon as she misses, throw the ball straight to me.” She pitched, I whacked that ball and made it to first or second post. That’s my greatest sporting achievement and I still feel good about it now.

I won semi-pro doubles at a table football tournament in Lithuania once. Pretty crazy how serious people take table football (foosball) as a sport, really. Was mad fun though.

I won a potato and spoon race in year 2. The instructions they gave said if we dropped the potato we should run to where it was and put it back on the spoon so I flicked the potato to the finish line and ran and collected it and won by an absolute mile.

I won some medals for ballroom dance when I was maybe 8 or 9. Not a sporting achievement I guess but it required a certain level of athleticism and co-ordination that I’m severly lacking in my 30s.