Nerds do well in school. Geeks don’t.

My current network is named ‘Mom click here for internet’.

I quit my minimum wage job by saying to my boss, ‘I don’t work here anymore. You’re a cunt.’

Felt so fucking righteous.

I don’t live in the US, so I cannot comment on the legality of this. However, I will advise an informal policy of malicious compliance. If the manager asks why someone needs to take a day off, that someone should reply with incredibly graphic medical issues, whether real or fake. Think ‘I’m shitting blood and I need to see a doctor,’ or something like that. Keep it up for a few months and see how management responds.

There is no war.

It’s very possible that I have it a bit twisted. I’m a South African, and English is my second language.

Never heard that one, but it could be similar. I’m stealing that, by the way.

Ooh, another one I just remembered, translated from Afrikaans: ‘Piggie war’.

Used to refer to a conflict where there are no winners, like pigs fighting in mud, where all participants just end up dirty, humiliated and bruised. Like replying to a troll online.

I am partial to ‘Does the pope systematically cover up child sexual abuse?’

Much of a muchness.

Used to describe something redundant or superfluous. Naming a cat is much of a muchness; it won’t come when you call it anyway.

That’s not how you play cricket.

Used when someone or something is obviously bending or breaking the rules in an ungentlemanly manner. Capitalism is not how you play cricket.

Qtile. Full DEs are for rich people.

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Shit on the floor.