Y’all Qaeda

I have a condition called musical anhedonia. There are lots of us out there but we don’t show ourselves because of social stigma against not being able to enjoy music.

Good is not the enemy of perfect.

Sure. I don’t listen to music anyways. Nothing against music, just not my thing.

I think the misconception that you might be having is that the stress is even manageable at all. When people go through trauma at this age to this degree, there is little to no chance of managing it.

It’s like watching someone get injured in an accident and saying that if they had the opportunity to manage themselves better they could recovery without any lasting effects. Some accidents, no matter how well it’s managed by patients or doctors, will still render the patient paralyzed. Not to mention that a worse but more likely outcome is that they don’t make it out alive at all.

There is a survivorship bias here that is not seen on the surface. The reason why I am chronically ill is because the alternative in my situation is that I would be dead. You don’t see the people who had endured trauma and died, because they don’t come on Lemmy and comment.

The best possible outcome from the accident I was in that is my childhood, is that I came out of it alive, albeit physically and emotionally damaged.

I imagine these sorts of messages get attention because they can be very validating

That’s a pretty big slap in the face speaking as someone who grew up with chronic stress. I’m in my 20s. My thyroid has gone autoimmune on itself. I developed PCOS before puberty even fully set in. I have fibromyalgia, a condition that renders my entire body up in a permanent state of pain and suffering.

I didn’t get to where I am because I didn’t ‘manage my stress well enough’ or ‘didn’t look at it positively enough’. It’s not as simple as bad genetics either because people my age don’t typically have these conditions.

I don’t want to gatekept for not managing stress well enough, so I’ll just put some statistics out there: I’ve moved 26 times growing up, went to 14 different schools, lost 13 pets consecutively, sexually abused before I was 10, called the cops due to life threatening situations 4 times in my life, and went no contact with everyone I was related to. The fact that I made it to adulthood alive should be proof enough that this isn’t a stress management issue.

When you live in chronic distress, not eustress, your body will eventually pay the price. There’s a book called ‘The Body Keeps the Score’ by Vessel Van Der Kolk that does a fantastic job of explaining this. As a result of my body breaking down in pain and no longer being able to exercise, live, and function the way I used to, I will most likely die sooner than I would have if environment conditions didn’t trigger all these latent health conditions. And that’s ok.

What’s not ok is being told that I could have better health outcomes if I had just look at my stress more positively. Buddy, if I look at my stress any more positively than I did I would no longer be managing my stress I would straight up be in denial that anything bad even happened.

Cantonese: 陳大文 (can4 daai6 man4) Japanese: 山田太郎 (yamada taro)

Ee33 we r3 we 3 de r3r ree

Good for yourself and all, but just as a reminder that Christmas can be secular and anti-capitalist at the same time. You don’t need to exchange gifts, be religious, or have any beliefs or traditions about it.

It can just be an excuse to get together, cook, and have dinner. It doesn’t need to be elaborate either. Christmas for many people just means a time of the year you set aside to appreciate family, friends, and loved ones.

That’s not the kind of joke made by people with secure masculinity so I think these few steps can help you:

1. Picture a woman more successful than you.
2. Accept that she is not a threat to your ego.
3. Understand that your self worth isn’t defined by other people.
4. Repeat the phrase “Successful women don’t exist ____(despite of/because of/for/to hate/to ruin/to mock) me.” Successful women simply exist, whether you are there to observe them or not.
5. Remove “women are ____” statements from your speech until you no longer feel threatened by them.
6. Get therapy