You might have misophonia.
Also…I try to imagine kids as little robot machines. They do their thing and they make their sounds like little choo choo trains. This image also underlines that they often just react to things. Input; output. So the focus shifts from the kid to the situation and the surroundings (as does the blame).
Addiction is not something you can control. In a way she was sick and there is not very much she could have done. Sure, “don’t take drugs while pregnant” or “don’t get pregnant while being an addict” sound like obvious things, but drugs can cloud your judgement.
And that is before you even think about what constitutes as a “someone”. I don’t even want to start the discussion on it, but there IS the question of when a fetus counts as another life/person.