This is a man who knows how to gling. He is glinging. Yesterday, he _____.

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Joined 11 months ago
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Cake day: August 15th, 2023

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  • My current theory is that I’m getting to taco bell effect from the eggnog. Didn’t realize until looking at the label about an hour ago, but it’s got an insane concentration of added sugars, cholesterol, and saturated fats. I drank half the carton today (well, yeaterday) qnd if my mental math is right I’ve gotten 80% of my daily cholesterol, 100% of my daily saturated fats, and 120% of my daily added sugars. If my fiancée found out, she would be so upset because she made me promise that I wouldn’t die first



  • How do you think I know its the eggnog

    I get it whenever it is in stock, and whenever I drink it I get explosive diarrhea

    I know its not the Milk causing it because it’s, well, lactaid

    Wait a second, what if they are lying to me

    Edit: I am fairly certain it is in fact lactose free. My current theory is that it has something to do with the large amount of sugar. I think I might be getting almost 60% of my daily value of added sugars and 50% of my daily value of fats in one of the big glasses I drink it out of. If my fiancée finds out I am doing this to my poor arteries, she will be very upset because she made me promise to not die first

    Edit 2: I have dramatically underestimated how many servings I have drank today. New ballpark is

    • 80% daily cholesterol
    • 100% daily saturated fats
    • 120% added sugars

    IN ONE GLASS

    What the fuck have I done