That sounds like the kind of conversation worth recording and taking to a lawyer. I can’t imagine a call that goes “Hi, I’d like to cancel my service. What do you mean you can’t do that? No one at the company can help? I’ve been on the phone with 4 different reps. Fine, I’ll just call my card to stop paying. What do you mean you’re going to send me to collections?!” wouldn’t get done kind of positive movement.
Seconding Magnatiles
Also, marble runs!