That was also realistically powerful. I am glad I made it through the picture, if only to be reminded of the horror of sending young men to kill each other. Saving Private Brian is a masterpiece, but most of us aren’t capable of more than a single viewing.
The depth of your grief is an expression of the deepness of your love. I promise the pain will subside, but it will take time. You will get through this. And your memories will give you a bittersweet comfort.