

I didn’t peep, you just said you had too much to drink.
And yes, hope is what you really need right now. You can get sober and you can be happy again, you just have to connect with a support group that understands what you are going through.
My ex rejected AA for the longest time because we are both atheists, but he found the comraderie and support there he needed to finally sober up.
Try to get back into things that used to make you happy when you were young.
Listen to music you used to be crazy about, get back into drawing and making art.
And if you must bomb something, please go for the fascists in power, not the working class.