I’m an introvert and I like going to work to do my job and go home. I don’t understand people who use a job as a substitute for friendship or marriage. It’s a means to an end.
The sooner I do my duties, the longer my downtime is going to be, and I love having my downtime.
Many of my colleagues see me and immediately start asking questions I don’t want to answer, but neither do I want to hurt their feelings, I mostly want to be left alone. In the past this has been deconstructed as arrogance and people with fragile egos feel insulted by my indifference to them and that I prefer to work than to talk to them.
The world is made by extroverts. I have observed that people are eager to help you if you give them attention. I don’t get it, but neither I’m not going to change how extroverts think or feel.
If I give them the attention they need for as long as they need it I’m going to end up with daily headaches and neither my job nor theirs is going to be done.
I want to appear approachable, but keeping the info I feed them to a minimum. How do I do that?
What do you talk about to your coworkers?
What do you say to stop conversation organically? (meaning they don’t get offended).
I work in a small team, so fortunately, the number of extraverted people is quite low. I find, if I give the people that absolutely crave attention however much they want early in the day, that quiets them down considerably during the rest of the day. They’ll have flare-ups every now and then, and lunchtime is unavoidable, unfortunately, but with practice, I’ve become able to wear them out before they wear me out, if that makes sense. Good luck and peace be with you.
teach me, please
My strategy: chatty people love talking about themselves. If you give a brief but vague answer to their question and reflect it back to them or ask them for more details about it they’ll probably be happy to carry the conversation.
Think of it as the verbal equivalent of playing fetch with a problem dog. Even if you don’t want to play fetch it’s going to make the dog calmer. (I promise this isn’t meant in a derogatory way towards chatty people!)