The last one is particularly great
Everything got some nods and hard nose exhales, the last got a real lol
“We need more power! What can you give me?”
“Uhhh… if we get all of the shuttles and EVA suits out pushing I guess that’ll technically be more power?”
“How much faster will we go?”
“Literally not at all, due to warp mechanics you told me not to mention again. Might make you feel better, though.”Great post, thanks 😅
That is a good episode idea. Their warp engine dies, so they have to send a shuttle to go get parts to fix it. In the mean time, they jury rig the remaining shuttles life support into the main ship and put as many crew members in medically induced comas as possible to reduce the load on it.
Now I want to see shuttles ducktaped to the engines outside.
A mashup of VOY:S07E24 (Warp core ejected and stolen by scavengers) and VOY:S04E25 (Seven in charge while crew in stasis)?
It works in Kerbal Space Program, it should work for real!
Reminds me of the Scott Manley video where in Kerbal space program he explored the idea of a stranded spacecraft where the astronaut joking asks if it’d help if he got out and pushed.
I always appreciate how the game FTL made “diverting power from life support” make sense. You don’t do it when your shield generators are damaged, you do it when your reactor is too damaged to output enough power for both shields and life support.
I mean, if diverting life support power would make the FTL engines work, so you could effectively teleport from A to B in seconds or minutes, it could be worth it? Especially if the destination is a safe harbor for repairs. Then resume life support. Not likely to cause instant death?
Yup that’s actually a tradeoff you have to consider in the game, putting more power into the engines speeds up how long it takes to make an FTL jump. So if you don’t think you can beat the ship you’re fighting, it can make sense to put all power into the engines to try and jump away before they destroy your ship. Turning off life support still leaves you with the air currently in the ship which lasts for some amount of time depending on how big your ship is/how many crew members you have/how many hull breaches, open airlocks, or fires there are.
Yeah, life support being off or at reduced power would mean carbon dioxide build up and it would probably get a bit sweaty, but you can survive for quite a long time in a sealed room, especially with how much spare space is in Star Trek rooms.
Unless life support includes something like “shields that keep all the air in” or something.
I agree with the theme of the post, but some of the examples need more work, possibly at the expense of being less quippy
Or when the generator simply isn’t powerful enough to supply everything. Because resources are finite and you don’t always have enough power for everything.
Captain: Transfer power to the engines
Engineer: Sorry sir, but you have to submit a ticket. The SLA is 2 days.
I would love this!
Captain: The reactor is critical!
Engineer: checks readings
Engineer: …yup.
Captain: CRITICAL!
Engineer: Yessir, it’s on and functioning…
There was an episode of Stargate SG-1 where the Stargate is broken and General Hammond shares this (paraphrased) exchange with Sergeant Siler:
Hammond: How long until you fix it? Siler: About two hours sir. Hammond: Not fast enough, you have 30 minutes. Siler: No sir, it doesn’t work like that. 2 hours is the best I can do. Hammond: Then get back to it.
Respectable. Anxious commander attempting to cut down the time that a critical mission will take, and accepting the response that it isn’t possible with a minimum of further distraction.
I think what’s missing is the malicious compliance right after these conversations that many of us engineers have.
Engineer: Sure captain, I’ll do what you ask but I’m going to need you to send me a communique stating that this is what you want me to do.
I’ve got a buddy who works aircraft maintenance in the US Navy. He’s told me about quite a few of those malicious compliance situations and all of them are both on par with everything else I’ve heard from engineers in civilian sectors. I’ve yet to meet an Engineer who was a bad liar. They washout way too quickly.
Every episode is after a time skip where the Enterprise has to be in drydock for three months making repairs to the over stressed patch jobs.
Isn’t that what NG does allot of the time? There’s a bunch of episodes that start with them leaving a spaceport or station. They just never show them at those places.
I love that this comes up on Voyager a few times.
Risa randomly started showing up a lot in my feed this week and I’m better for it. That last one made me laugh out loud, which made my injured sides hurt
I might be to blame on the Risa front. I’ve been posting every 2-5 hours on Risa to shoo away the lonely. I am, however, truly glad that I was able to provide some giggles. The pain not so much. Heal up buddy. <3
I had only watched the three modern movies. And the memes were the thing that finally made me watch TOS this week for the first time. I plan to watch everything.
Don’t forget to join us for conversation! We try to be friendly. I’ve had very few bad experiences around here. I can’t wait until you get to the First Contact movie. Utter banger.
Unpopular opinion but I haven’t liked a single movie of the TOS era and only the one with the borg queen on the TNG era. Loved both series though.
I probably have…fairly popular opinions on this, but:
- The Motion Picture. Crap film. It’s the script for a TV episode, goatse’d out to an over two-hour run time. The pacing is just tectonic and it’s just way up its distended ass. A large part of the problem is the movie basically didn’t get edited; most of what they shot ended up in the final cut. You could improve it a lot by paring it down.
- The Wrath of Kahn. Very good movie; I think it’s the closest to the franchise comes to being a classic. Some serious themes, exciting battles, a very good soundtrack, some really awesome hairdos, KAAAAAAHN!, some bagpipes…Probably the best of the movies to date.
- The Search For Spock. A decent movie. If you subscribe to the “odd numbered Trek movies are bad,” this is the best of the odd movies. It’s not as exciting or tense or well paced as Wrath of Kahn but it’s still competent. Worth a watch.
- The Voyage Home. The obligatory “travel to the present day at time of filming” episode of the original series movie era. It’s got a quirky and weird plot with a somewhat anvilicious environmentalist message, but it’s such great quality time with the characters, and it has such a wonderful soundtrack. Wrath of Kahn I think officially tops it but Voyage Home is so fun that it’s my personal favorite.
- The Final Frontier. I think you can fix the Motion Picture, but I don’t think you can fix The Final Frontier. The plot doesn’t work. Did they actually shoot God to death? What…was all that? Fortunately nothing of importance is established here and you can safely just skip it.
- The Undiscovered Country. I rank this one about on par with Search for Spock; it’s competent but not spectacular; it’s got too much of “it’s the last original series movie you guys” in it. As Mr. Plinkett said ‘Then they pose for a picture that no one took.’
- Generations. It’s as good as it is stupid. The executives didn’t have faith that the TNG crew could carry a feature film, so they had to contrive a way to have Kirk involved, and the plot they came up with required the villain and the protagonists to do exceptionally stupid things. With that flaw in place, they executed it about as well as they could.
- First Contact. Dumb action movie. Instead of having any Star Trek in it, it’s got violence and body horror and swearing. If you want to see Die Hard, go watch Die Hard, because Die Hard is better.
- Insurrection. This one comes the closest in terms of plot, tone and production value to the TV series. It really does feel like an episode of TNG…Oh no. Remember Season 7’s Journey’s End? Where the Enterprise is sent to force some Native Americans off their land because reasons? And Picard was going to go through with it until Wesley blew it up? Yeah turns out Picard would have sided with the natives if they were white. I mean at least Troi’s boobs are starting to firm up.
- Nemesis. “What if we cram The Wrath of Kahn and First Contact together? Big dumb action movie with an asshole bent on revenge against the captain out of nowhere, and we kill off the main cast member we could most plausibly revive later?”
- Star Trek (2009). Lots of trekkies have made mediocre fanfics of dubious quality over the decades, and among them is one J. J. Abrams. And I guess it was fun; we got to see Bones give Kirk shots he didn’t want, we got to see Scotty babble about how the engines can’t take it, we got to see Chekov fail to say the letter V, we got to see Sulu leave the parking brake on, we got to see Uhura wear a very, very short dress, we got to see Kirk bang a green chick…and I guess that’s enough. And that’s where I abandoned the franchise.
The first couple have happened in at least a couple episodes.
It’s a plot point in the Scotty TNG episode that Scotty outright doubles and triples time estimates as well as lowballs system specifications in documentation. And teaches Geordi to do the same.
“Do you mind a little advice? Starfleet captains are like children. They want everything right now and they want it their way. But the secret is to give them only what they need, not what they want.”
“Yeah, well, I told the Captain I’d have this analysis done in an hour.”
“How long will it really take?”
“An hour!”
“Oh, you didn’t tell him how long it would really take, did ya?”
“Well, of course I did.”
“Oh, laddie. You’ve got a lot to learn if you want people to think of you as a miracle worker.”
It’s a plot point on Lower Decks that lower deckers employ buffer time
From memory alpha:
Buffer time was a means of creatively estimating or exaggerating how long it takes to complete an assignment. A lower decks tradition, it was built on the premise that command level officers had no idea how long it took to complete a task, combining the “you never admit the actual amount of time it takes to finish a job…” so that “you’re a hero when it’s done early.” This allowed the crew time to relax between jobs.
The immediate hackles up/rage from the Captain at discovering buffer time has always been hilarious to me. I swear to god I saw my former micromanaging manager in those crazy eyes.
Amazing how fast you found that. One of the reasons I fell in love with you, Teft.
:)
Now go back to bridge 4, you airsick lowlander.
I think it might have B’elanna that tells Janeway that “no, it will take at least this amount of time”.
Isn’t that the scotty principle.
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Scotty Principle
“Reno! Where are we with the time crystal?”
“Four minutes and eighteen seconds away until fully charged.”
“Can we cut that in half?”
“And violate the basic laws of physics? Uh, no.”
Trust a grease monkey to give you the honest answer.
I cackled so hard when she first said that. Tig is a treasure and I was ecstatic seeing her on Discovery. She’s really been a joy. Just not nearly enough of her. Hopefully we’ll get a larger dose in this final Season 5.
This is the best thing I’ve read today.
Honestly this should’ve been a lower decks story. Billups gets so angry he talks like that for the whole episode.
Hopefully coming up in Season 4 this September!
That would be awesome. I want a Billups “did you try diverting power from life support?!?!” meme.
There’s a very old Newgrounds Series called Bad Guys where a space episode had an engineer get a Trek treatment from the captain:
Captain: “Engineering, boost the engines to 200%!”
Engineer: deeply exasperated voice “Fuck you! That’s impossible.”
I forgot about Bad Guys… thanks for that trip down memory lane!
The Harkerians being beautiful inside was such a memorable if creepy moment.
🌈
Torres definitely says something like that to Janeway shortly after she became chief engineer. Bashir reminded them how long it would take to get back after their warp drive was destroyed in the Dominion fighter they were in. Gomez tells LaForge that she can’t divert power because the system she was working on was damaged during their first encounter with the Borg.
